Why These Questions?

1. What do you like about this story and what bothers you?

2. Who would you be in the story or what can you relate to?

3. What is this story telling you about God?

4. What is this story telling you to do?

5. Who could you tell this story to?

These are the five questions we suggest using in your discussions. (For an example see the Host Card.) At first glance you may think they're too simple. Like, anybody could have come up with these! That's actually the point. The simpler an idea, the easier it sticks and the faster it spreads. We spent many hours of research and experimentation developing these intuitive questions, and they really do work. Having said that though, of course you don't have to use them. You're more than welcome to experiment and see what works for your group. Like for instance, if you have lots of coffee drinkers in your group you could ask "what is this story telling you about coffee?" Ok, so let's talk about each of these questions and why they work.

God wants people to be real with him. That story about Jacob wrestling all night is there for a reason. So are those Psalms saying very un-Hillsongs things like "God just leave me alone so I can be happy for once!" The disturbing fact is that the Bible reads like a dark novel. Alcoholism, incestuous relationships, sibling murder...and those are the good guys! The Bible is very realistic about how messed up humanity is, and that includes the saints. This has even been pointed to as evidence for the historical accuracy of the Gospels - the apostles are saying and doing stupid things on almost every page!

Religion, on the other hand, is too often the opposite. It can't handle real people with real struggles. It either makes you fake, or it makes you leave. If somebody's been burned by bad religion and then comes to your group they need to know that you want them to be real and say what they really think. That's why we talk about what bothers us about these stories.

You may nod in agreement with this, but then find it extremely uncomfortable to actually hear people sharing their negative reactions to stuff in the Bible. When that happens don't worry. Remember that God's a big boy and that he can take care of himself. And he likes wrestling.

The fact of storytelling hints at a fundamental human unease, hints at human imperfection. Where there is perfection, there is no story to tell. ~Ben Okri

Have you ever gotten so sucked into a novel you couldn't put it down? Or found yourself sprinting for the restrooms after the movie because you didn't realize you had to go? That's the power of stories. You don't just listen to a good story, you lose yourself in it. Why? For several reasons, actually. But the biggest is because you can relate to the people in the story. In fact, in your brain, you actually become them. This is true of the stories of Scripture, too. Which is what makes them so powerful! The moment you start relating to the people in God's stories is the moment you start relating to God. You enter his story, and then he enters yours. That's why it's so important to make these stories personal.

If a story isn't about the hearer he won't listen. A great and interesting story is about everyone, or it will not last. ~John Steinbeck

There is another reason. I'll be honest with you, I've had times when I was dealing with personal trauma and could barely handle reading the Bible. I was in so much pain, and then I'd read about these people going through horrific experiences and I'd see myself in their stories and cry my eyes out. I told myself ok, I just won't read the Old Testament for awhile, only the New Testament. I only got a couple chapters in before I hit the story about stricken parents losing their little sons to an evil regime, and I fell apart again. I told God through the tears how I hated his twisted stories and how the violence sickened me. I wondered if I had the wrong religion and if maybe Buddhism would be a better fit, just meditating on positive things. To make a long story short, I realized that God's stories aren't there to distract us from the reality of evil or from our own sufferings. But they can help us find meaning in the midst of our experiences. And maybe even some healing.

All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story, or tell a story about them. ~Isak Dinesen

Here's how conversation works: show the other person that you're truly interested in them and what they have to say and then when it's your turn to talk they'll be interested in you too! This is usually true even if they started off totally closed. If people can see that you're making a genuine effort to understand their thoughts and empathize with their feelings, by the end they'll be a little more open to hear from you too. So, to bring that home. Thus far in the conversation the questions have been inviting people to talk honestly about themselves. Now's it's God's turn to talk about himself. And he will!

The shortest distance between a human being and truth is a story. ~Anthony de Mello

James compared Scripture to a mirror. He said when you hear God's Word but don't act on it it's like you just looked into a mirror and then walked away and forgot what you look like. This is a powerful insight into human nature, because everything people do is determined by how they perceive themselves. If you see yourself belonging to a group and they all live a certain way, that's probably going to become your norm also. By this point in the conversation you've heard a new story, met some new people you can hopefully relate to, and maybe had some new thoughts about God and yourself. That's the point where you may also be open to a new vision of your future, one that gives you hope! Talking about the changes you're imagining for your life is a great way to make them more concrete. And next week before the new story is told you'll have time to tell the group how those changes are going, too!

Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives - the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change - truly are powerless, because they cannot think new thoughts. ~Salmon Rushdi

God's stories were made to be told, and the great thing about word-of-mouth communication is that we're already doing it all the time! If the story helped you, you probably know someone else who would find it helpful too. If you're not sure, but you had an emotional experience or a profound realization through the story, just tell somebody about that and share the excitement! This question is hardwired into our movement to make it contagious.

The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of all kinds. ~Dalai Lama